![]() ![]() Various therapeutic models provide new frameworks to shift roles, create new habits, and eventually transcend unhealthy loops. Once these dynamics are fully seen, there are, fortunately, skillful alternatives. Compassion is required, because so often in life, unhealthy dynamics form because we know no better. It’s not easy to accept relationships where you might play the victim, be stuck in persecutor mode, or enable codependency by becoming a rescuer. The first step is seeing how Karpman’s drama triangle highlights maladaptive or harmful behaviors that often go unseen or unacknowledged.Īwareness requires self-honesty and compassion. Models are useful in creating awareness around unhealthy dynamics. Replacing the Drama Triangle With Healthy Alternativesīecause the relationship dynamics that cause the drama triangle are usually habitual and deeply ingrained, stopping the process from unfolding isn’t as easy as pressing an off switch. Healthy relationships don’t engage in this dance, but instead, focus on mutual respect and equality. If you believe you have to rescue someone, you place them below you. If you make yourself the victim, you place your oppressor above you. Each position someone takes automatically positions them as above, or below, another person. (Getty)Īnother aspect of the drama triangle is superiority and inferiority. As a result, high-conflict relationships could be those with “compatible” habitual roles, such as the victim and the persecutor. Habitual role-playing tends to develop in early life, within the family structure. These roles aren’t fixed, but fluid, with people in conflict often shifting between roles, keeping the drama playing out endlessly, although certain people, or relationships, might be more prone to taking on various roles. No one person or role is more responsible than the other, but all contribute to the escalation of drama by feeding off the various roles. When operating together, without self-awareness, people pinball between roles. ![]() The initial conflict is sparked once someone takes a position as victim or persecutor, a collection of habits and thought patterns that are similar to putting on a specific mask or wardrobe and reading a role from a script. How the Three Aspects of Drama Roles Lead To Conflict ![]() You can imagine how, when feeling oppressed by someone, a victim can criticize that person, becoming a persecutor. Prosecutors and victims are prone to shift. ![]() It’s the other side of victimhood, as a persecutor, unconsciously, also sees themselves as the victim of someone else’s behavior. Their desire to criticize or place blame on the other leads to aggressive and oppressive behavior. The persecutor tends to be rigid and strict, often fuelled by anger. They’re overly responsible and controlling, taking the position of “I know best.” The Persecutor This behavior is often driven by guilt or obligation and tends to create a dynamic of codependency with the victim. As a result, they will turn against the persecutor, or enable the victim’s self-pitying narrative.Īlthough on the surface this seems noble, a rescuer is more concerned with rescuing than finding solutions. The difference between a rescuer, as a role, and genuine help and support, is that the rescuer tends to view the victim as the victim views themselves - helpless and persecuted. They’re the people on a mission to save others, always willing to sacrifice their own needs in order to save the day. If you’re not a rescuer, you’ll likely know of a few people who are. ![]()
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